What is abuse?
Abuse isn't always visible, and it isn't always physical. Whatever form it takes, abuse is about one person exerting power over another to hurt or control them. It can happen in any relationship, regardless of age, gender, or background.
Domestic abuse is any act or threatened act that intimidates a family member by creating a reasonable fear of property damage or injury to a family member.
Domestic abuse may include but is not limited to the following:
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Sharing photos of an individual without their consent
Spreading rumors, false information, or cyberbullying on social media
Tracking a partners location through a phone or hacking into their phone to monitor all activity
Monitoring a partners conversation or reading their messages
Sending threatening/harassing messages or phone calls
Controlling access to partners technology or demanding all passwords to devices
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Forcing an unwanted change in living situations
Selling personal possessions without consent or against their will
Building up debt in a partners name or lowering their credit score
Important documents going missing or being taken
Being cut off from family and friends and social media
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Controlling a spouse's money (eg. Where they spend it/what they spend it on)
Not allowing a spouse to have their own bank account or access to their bank account
Control of a spouse's access to school or a job
Misusing a partners money or shared money, assets, or property
Stealing a partners pay cheque
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Using a partner’s spiritual beliefs to manipulate, dominate or control them
Forcing cultural or spiritual beliefs onto a partner
Belittling a partners beliefs, traditions, or practices
Preventing a partner from participating in their traditions or practices
Coercing a partner into doing things against their religious or cultural beliefs
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Patterns of control that cause fear or terror
Using threats or or force to control behavior
Isolating a partner from friends or family
Restricting access to employment, education or medical care
Dominating a partners behavior or choices
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Not allowing a partner to seek attention for medical concerns, illnesses and/or injuries
Restricting a partners access to medications or medical devices
Coercing a partner to lie to medical professionals in order to get unneeded prescriptions
Threatening to reveal private medical conditions, shaming them for medical condition
Controlling a partners personal medical decisions
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Stalking or following another person
Repeated actions that create fear for one’s safety or the safety of a loved one.
Marking threats in person, over phone, or the internet
Sending gifts, flowers, letters, etc. that are not welcome
Tracking an individuals phone, whereabouts, or messages
If any of this sounds familiar, it isn't your fault, and you don't have to figure it out alone. Rowan House Society's 24-Hour Support Line offers free, confidential help by phone or text, along with outreach and education for anyone in our communities affected by domestic violence and abuse.
The working definition of abuse on this page was developed using a combination of definitions used by the Government of Canada, the Government of Alberta, and the Protection Against Family Violence Act.